106 replies to this topic

[GT Jimmy]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know

[GT Jimmy]

At the Olympics I saw an athlete carrying a long stick, I asked him are you a pole vaulter. He replied no I'm German, but how do you know my name is Walter?

[bpirie1000]

I was driving along and got two burst tyres on the left hand side of the car...

It is all right now.....

[Designer]

My Jack Russell grabbed the TV remote and won't give it back. He keeps pausing the programme.

[bpirie1000]

Q: Why was the car always tired?

A: It never took any brakes

[bpirie1000]

Q: Why do pistons make such bad employees?

A: They only work after they are fired

[bpirie1000]

My wife gave birth to our son in the car on our way to the hospital. We named him Carson

[bpirie1000]

Q: Why should you always carry peanut butter in your car?

A: In case there’s a traffic jam

[bpirie1000]

Q: What did you do with all those old car batteries?

A: I gave them away, free of charge

[bpirie1000]

Q: Why did the man throw his spare tire into the woods when he got lost?

A.Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way

[Podman]

I know a bloke who taught his dog to play the trumpet, on the London underground. it went from Barking to Tooting in under 20 minutes.

[GT Jimmy]

I opened my fridge this morning and I could smell basil... it must be faulty

[bpirie1000]

What's the best name for a man who can't stand? Neil.

[GT Jimmy]

Spring is here!!

I got so excited I wet my plants!

[Cooperman]

The man who invented ‘predictive text’ has died.
His funfair is on monkey.