2212 replies to this topic

[M J W J]

Why are people surprised that I say no to giving them a lift to work because of the snow when they aren't prepared to drive themselves?

Just because I can and will drive in the snow to get to work doesn't mean I like doing it. Also we're two minutes of the EP, the second most major road in telford. It will be cleared and gritted.

[xrocketengineer]

I know that Disneyworld is not too far from us, but its influence on everything can be felt. My local supermarket has a water spray system to spray their "organic vegetables" in racks several times a day to keep them fresh. Every time this happens, a loud recording is played in the background of rain, wind and thunder like a real thunderstorm. Does that make the vegetables "more natural" ?     

[panky]

Why do I need a good stiff whisky whenever the sister-in-law has been to visit ​ 

[M J W J]

Why does my gran refuse to have central heating fitted in her house?

She spends loads on electric heaters just to heat the rooms she uses and yet the house is still freezing in comparison to most other people's. She's also had problems with pipes freezing in previous years (fortunately they have never burst) and always gets ill round Christmas. I know that cold weather does not give you a cold but it can't be helping her.

Despite showing her the break down of my own bills proving that central heating is a cheaper way to heat her home and having a sister who works for a housing insurer point out that if her pipes freeze and burst they won't pay out because he house isn't heated sufficiently, she still refuses.

My gran has used all the grants she can to have double glazing fitted, cavity wall insulation and loft insulation. Unfortunately unless the house is warm to begin with they don't do anything.

If anyone else has been in this situation and has won this fight, please tell me how. The inevitable argument every Christmas is starting to become a family tradition and I'm fed up of seeing various family members argue over it.

[r3k1355]

Old people can be stubborn, even to the point of being foolish.

 

Send her away on holiday and have the house retro-fitted, she won't have much choice in the matter then.

Fit a Hive system as well, or something flashy and complicated looking - just to put her off messing around with it!

[Homersimpson]

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

[r3k1355]

Testing?

[panky]

A gingerbread man sits inside a gingerbread house.

Is the house made out of flesh? or is he made  of house? - he screams for he doesn't know

[jonlad]

If a blue house is blue and a red house is red, what colour is a greenhouse?

[M J W J]

If a blue house is blue and a red house is red, what colour is a greenhouse?

Potentially green if the glass is tinted as such.

[minimans]

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Testes of course!

[M J W J]

Why is there always one ornament you miss off the tree when you go to take it down?

I think I've got them all and have packed them back in the box but every time I dismantle the tree and go to put it back in its box I always find an ornament left.

Edited by M J W J, 07 January 2018 - 03:45 PM.

[minimans]

Why is there always one ornament you miss of the tree when you go to take it down?

I think I've got them all and have packed them back in the box but every time I dismantle the tree and go to put it back in its box I always find an ornament left.

Sounds a load of balls to me...................................

[M J W J]

I now understand how women feel.

I've had various female relatives, friends and colleagues comment over the years how they occasionally get spam emails regarding enlarging certain parts of the male anatomy.

Well in the last few days I seam to have received about a dozen spam emails regarding breast enlargement.

I mean I know my are small, but they are supposed to be. I'm a bloke and it should be fairly obvious from my email address considering it starts 'michaeljw_'

[r3k1355]

They don't bother to proof read anything, they literally spam out the same message to millions of people at once.