2212 replies to this topic

[Ben_O]

Do you think anyone has ever been blinded when cutting their nails?

Possibly! They are quire dangerous pinging around.

 

I was sat in a room once and someone was clipping toenails, when i heard the clip, i grabbed my eye and yelled out in pain to trick them.

 

Thinking about it, i take my other half to regular dental appointments. The waiting room is right outside a chiropodist room and when you are waiting there, you see people go in there and then immediately hear the sound of inch thick toe nails being clipped. 

[lsto]

Do you think anyone has ever been blinded when cutting their nails?

Possibly! They are quire dangerous pinging around.
 
I was sat in a room once and someone was clipping toenails, when i heard the clip, i grabbed my eye and yelled out in pain to trick them.
 
Thinking about it, i take my other half to regular dental appointments. The waiting room is right outside a chiropodist room and when you are waiting there, you see people go in there and then immediately hear the sound of inch thick toe nails being clipped. 

If they left both doors open you might end up with some dirty nasty toe nail pinging into someone's open mouth in the dentist....

Grim...lol

[M J W J]

 

The Dave TV channel decided to call their channel that as they claim everyone knows someone called Dave.
 
I maintain that everyone knows someone called Big Dave as well.

I know a big Dave, he is one of seven Dave's I know at the moment. I was mates at uni with four Daves and three Chris', out of 140 people on my course there were seven called chris and six called Dave, so about 10% or about 17% of blokes. It gets bloody confusing on the mobile so they end up with names like mini Dave and Donny Chris (he lives in Doncaster).

 

 

The last place I worked almost everyone there was called David. The joke was, if you didn't know someone's name you just called them Dave, even the women. Better still I did this and the woman I called Dave turned out to be called Davina.

 

On the subject to toe nails. I have to see a chiropodist every so often due to my diabetes. Last time the guy who examined my feet said he was much happier that he had someone young walk through the door as usually the younger they are the better their feet are. Part way through the examination he said he had had a woman that morning with maggots in her foot. Euwhhhhhhh.

[Ben_O]

 Part way through the examination he said he had had a woman that morning with maggots in her foot. Euwhhhhhhh.

 

There is alot of protein in maggots   

[lsto]

 Part way through the examination he said he had had a woman that morning with maggots in her foot. Euwhhhhhhh.
 

There is alot of protein in maggots   

I should lock her in my shed, I'll never have to buy fishing bait again

[Miniminx71]

I've seen 2001 : A Space Odyssey at least 4 times and I still don't get what the ending's all about!!

[M J W J]

When you have had a dream about something you say, " I dreamed about..."

 

What happens if you had a nightmare? Do you say, "I nightmared about..."

[lsto]

How many trees die a year to make the little sticks in ice lollies?

[Vinay-RS]

Am I the only one who has more car care products than people care products?

[dprac1ng]

Am I the only one who has more car care products than people care products?

No.... im there too

[Ben_O]

 

Am I the only one who has more car care products than people care products?

No.... im there too

 

I have half a bottle of car shampoo that i bought from poundland about 2 years ago.

 

that's it!

 

I never wash my car incase you didn't gather..

[Miniminx71]

dprac1ng, on 25 Feb 2015 - 10:38 PM, said:

 

Vinay-RS, on 23 Feb 2015 - 6:36 PM, said:

Am I the only one who has more car care products than people care products?

No.... im there too

 

Are you both wearing Magic Tree air fresheners instead of deodorant?

[dprac1ng]

 

dprac1ng, on 25 Feb 2015 - 10:38 PM, said:

 

Vinay-RS, on 23 Feb 2015 - 6:36 PM, said:

Am I the only one who has more car care products than people care products?

No.... im there too

 

Are you both wearing Magic Tree air fresheners instead of deodorant?

 

 

Maybe... :/

[paulsmithlookerafterer]

The problem with water

 

Water is made up of hydrogen, one of the most explosive substances known to man, yet you try igniting a tank of water, can’t be done. It’s even got oxygen in it to act as a catalyst! Moreover you actually use it to extinguish fires, despite it being made up of two of the elements of the fire triangle, where hydrogen is your fuel and oxygen is...well is oxygen. So if we add the missing ingredient – heat, water doesn’t then ignite, burn or explode, instead it just expands and changes state. There’s the next problem. By logical theory, if you heat water and it expands, if when you cool it, it should shrink right? Nope. Cool it enough and it has expands into ice! Why can’t you breathe in water if it’s got oxygen in it?! And isn’t it rather convenient that it boils at 100°C and freezes at 0°C! We all love going to the beach and swimming in the sea, but when the rains bring it to our door, and we end up with a lake just outside it’s a disaster! We need water to live, but over-do it and your dead. Water – it finds its way into everything, it’s a nuisance to carry around with you, flowers love it, it makes driving difficult, it’s either ice cold or boiling and it only provides moments of joy otherwise it’s ruining your life. Therefore one can only surmise that water is female.

[dprac1ng]

The problem with water

 

Water is made up of hydrogen, one of the most explosive substances known to man, yet you try igniting a tank of water, can’t be done. It’s even got oxygen in it to act as a catalyst! Moreover you actually use it to extinguish fires, despite it being made up of two of the elements of the fire triangle, where hydrogen is your fuel and oxygen is...well is oxygen. So if we add the missing ingredient – heat, water doesn’t then ignite, burn or explode, instead it just expands and changes state. There’s the next problem. By logical theory, if you heat water and it expands, if when you cool it, it should shrink right? Nope. Cool it enough and it has expands into ice! Why can’t you breathe in water if it’s got oxygen in it?! And isn’t it rather convenient that it boils at 100°C and freezes at 0°C! We all love going to the beach and swimming in the sea, but when the rains bring it to our door, and we end up with a lake just outside it’s a disaster! We need water to live, but over-do it and your dead. Water – it finds its way into everything, it’s a nuisance to carry around with you, flowers love it, it makes driving difficult, it’s either ice cold or boiling and it only provides moments of joy otherwise it’s ruining your life. Therefore one can only surmise that water is female.

 

Where did you find that? That's fantastic!