2212 replies to this topic

[M J W J]

Cyanide and Happiness release a comic a day. Today is number 8 of depressing comic week?

 

Last time I checked there were only 7 days in a week so how come there are 8 comics?

[Vinay-RS]

Because an 8 day week would be depressing? 

[M J W J]

Because an 8 day week would be depressing? 

 

You're right. Two Mondays. Ughhh.

[danie garry]

Do rubber ducks have any useful purpose?

 
they keep the duck population down
 
edit - read that wrong  

 
Yeah. Sure you did  .
 
Why aren't fairy lights wired in parallel instead of series so when one bulb goes it doesn't prevent the others from working? There probably is a good reason but I can't think why.

Keeps costs down, led lights are the way to go!

[M J W J]

Who invented the revolving door and when you can push the centre bit and walk through what is the point?

[M J W J]

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

[Vinay-RS]

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

Just make sure you are at true north/south and not magnetic north/south... sorry couldn't help myself

[M J W J]

 

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

Just make sure you are at true north/south and not magnetic north/south... sorry couldn't help myself

 

 

I realise that they are different.

 

If you stood on the magnetic poles you could make jokes about someone being attracted to you. I'll let you lot fill in the rest of this joke.

[Vinay-RS]

 

 

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

Just make sure you are at true north/south and not magnetic north/south... sorry couldn't help myself

 

 

I realise that they are different.

 

If you stood on the magnetic poles you could make jokes about someone being attracted to you. I'll let you lot fill in the rest of this joke.

 

haha would you place your "pole" at the pole ;)

[M J W J]

 

 

 

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

Just make sure you are at true north/south and not magnetic north/south... sorry couldn't help myself

 

 

I realise that they are different.

 

If you stood on the magnetic poles you could make jokes about someone being attracted to you. I'll let you lot fill in the rest of this joke.

 

haha would you place your "pole" at the pole ;)

 

 

Too cold for getting that out. Brrrrrr

 

A mate of mine and I were discussing the greatest feelings in life while I was working on my car earlier today. He's not into cars and doesn't own one so has never worked on one. I was trying to convince him that the click of a torque wrench is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. I reckon its about number 4 in my list of all time great feelings.

 

My top 5 are:

 

1. I think most people can guess. It involves someone else.

2. Making the back end of your car step out and maintaining the slide without hitting a wall/fence/hedge/oncoming prius/etc (again I had to convince my mate about this one)

3. Being able to down a cup of tea because its cold enough but not too cold that its unpleasant

4. Click of a torque wrench

5. Fresh bed sheets especially if they have just come out of a tumble drier.

 

I also had a random thought earlier about nuts and bolts. Which one came first? Surely the idea of one must have come just fractionally before the other.

[Vinay-RS]

 

 

 

 

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

Just make sure you are at true north/south and not magnetic north/south... sorry couldn't help myself

 

 

I realise that they are different.

 

If you stood on the magnetic poles you could make jokes about someone being attracted to you. I'll let you lot fill in the rest of this joke.

 

haha would you place your "pole" at the pole ;)

 

 

Too cold for getting that out. Brrrrrr

 

A mate of mine and I were discussing the greatest feelings in life while I was working on my car earlier today. He's not into cars and doesn't own one so has never worked on one. I was trying to convince him that the click of a torque wrench is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. I reckon its about number 4 in my list of all time great feelings.

 

My top 5 are:

 

1. I think most people can guess. It involves someone else.

2. Making the back end of your car step out and maintaining the slide without hitting a wall/fence/hedge/oncoming prius/etc (again I had to convince my mate about this one)

3. Being able to down a cup of tea because its cold enough but not too cold that its unpleasant

4. Click of a torque wrench

5. Fresh bed sheets especially if they have just come out of a tumble drier.

 

I also had a random thought earlier about nuts and bolts. Which one came first? Surely the idea of one must have come just fractionally before the other.

 

I agree with the last two. Personally I only like really hot coffee and tea.

I'd add to that list: do a job (any job) perfectly the first time you try it is a great feeling as well. 

 

The nuts and bolts thing reminds me of the drawing rule. We were told: "that threads are shown on the male part only in assembly drawings", to which one student asked: "what is the male part" and the whole class burst out laughing

[dprac1ng]

 

 

 

 

 

If I ever went to the north or south pole I would act like a complete jerk and try and get everyone else to do everything for me in the hope that someone would use the phrase "the world doesn't revolve around you". I could then stand where the pole was and say "yes it does!"

 

An incredibly elaborate joke but it would be a once in a life time chance to do it.

Just make sure you are at true north/south and not magnetic north/south... sorry couldn't help myself

 

 

I realise that they are different.

 

If you stood on the magnetic poles you could make jokes about someone being attracted to you. I'll let you lot fill in the rest of this joke.

 

haha would you place your "pole" at the pole ;)

 

 

Too cold for getting that out. Brrrrrr

 

A mate of mine and I were discussing the greatest feelings in life while I was working on my car earlier today. He's not into cars and doesn't own one so has never worked on one. I was trying to convince him that the click of a torque wrench is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. I reckon its about number 4 in my list of all time great feelings.

 

My top 5 are:

 

1. I think most people can guess. It involves someone else.

2. Making the back end of your car step out and maintaining the slide without hitting a wall/fence/hedge/oncoming prius/etc (again I had to convince my mate about this one)

3. Being able to down a cup of tea because its cold enough but not too cold that its unpleasant

4. Click of a torque wrench

5. Fresh bed sheets especially if they have just come out of a tumble drier.

 

I also had a random thought earlier about nuts and bolts. Which one came first? Surely the idea of one must have come just fractionally before the other.

 

I agree with the last two. Personally I only like really hot coffee and tea.

I'd add to that list: do a job (any job) perfectly the first time you try it is a great feeling as well. 

 

The nuts and bolts thing reminds me of the drawing rule. We were told: "that threads are shown on the male part only in assembly drawings", to which one student asked: "what is the male part" and the whole class burst out laughing

 

 

I would add to that list too. Making a tool that fixes your derp moment and works.

[lsto]

Or today getting a snapped engine mount bolt out of the block. Drilled it, tried the dreaded easy out and it worked perfectly first time! No problems. Textbook.

[Miniminx71]

Can you get wet roasted peanuts?

[Cooperman]

 1. Let all the stupid people figure things out for themselves: remove the warning labels & the idiot gene pool will thin itself.



2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds; people actually get out of my way now.



3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands; if she's holding a gun, you should leave her alone.



4. Girls used to cook like their mothers & brag about their recipes ; now they drink like their fathers & brag about their tattoos.



5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone....that's common sense leaving your body.



6. I try hard not to plan my day because the word 'premeditated' can be used against you.



7. I didn't make it to the gym today; that makes five years in a row.



8. Better yet, I decided to call the bathroom the "Jim" instead of the "John"; it's so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.



9. Question for paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?



10. Everyone has a right to be stupid; however, there are those that abuse the privilege.