Hang on... the OP said "Vermont in the Winter--Slushy roads, corrosive salt, bitter cold"
Has anyone reminded him that this is (perhaps) the most successful rally car in history ?
Front wheel drive, massive torqure, incredible power to weight ratio, ledgendary control and conering... ?
Four consecutive Monte Carlo rally wins.
And then, 40 years later....
Forget Air-con (open a window mate), forget cruising...
A Mini is for speed, FUN, handling, FUN, hanging on, FUN, getting through it quicker and slicker than the others and then FUN !
So in answer to all his questions: reasonable expectations should be LOTS OF FUN
(boring cars are also available)